This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by Monsanto.

Monsanto – what would have happened if Dr. Frankenstein was horny for tomatoes.

 

Norm: Good day, I’m Norm McLuhan, and this is my brother, Gord – 

Gord: Good day!

Norm: – and today we’re gonna discuss corn subsidies.

Gord: Like, smaller cities made of corn, eh?

Norm: What?

Gord: Corn sub-cities! Ya know, like, towns of corn? Or corn neighbourhoods? 

Norm: As we’re a television show and not a newspaper column, I can understand the confusion, bud.

Gord: Aw, thanks.
Norm: No problem. 

Gord: Means a lot. 

Norm: Yeah?

Gord: Whole lot. 

Norm: Anyway, whaddaya think about corn subsidies, ya hosehead?

Gord: Well, I think that we should respect the kinks of others, Norm.

Norm: What?

Gord: Corn sub-cities, ya know, as in BDSM dungeons where a dom engages in consensual cornplay with a sub?

Norm: Oh, yeah, no, for sure. That’s exactly what I meant, not the government-approved agricultural rebates. How do you know so much about BDSM? 

Gord: Because I listen, ya hoser. 

Norm: To who?

Gord: To whom? 

Norm: I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Who even are you?

Gord: It’s me, Gord. Yer brother, eh?

Norm: This has been Norm and Gord McLuhan – 

Gord: Hi there!

Norm: – discussing corn subsidies.