Dear reader, be honest with yourself: living during the daytime is the world’s longest running psy-op.

The sun blazes down on you, and constantly harasses you like an unpaid landlord. But in spite of this, you all dutifully stumble out of your homes barely awake, clutching your iced coffees to force your eyes open to go to work and slave away during the daylight hours. 

You pretend sunscreen is empowerment, when it is but a futile shield against the sun’s relentless assault. You wear hats the size of parasols to give yourselves any semblance of shade, betraying your sense of fashion for a crumb of respite from the sun. Daylight is nature’s microwave, and you, like billions of others, are the leftovers left inside to reheat for too long.

Imagine if you lived in a society that began after dusk instead. A society where the streets are quiet, the air is always cool, and the colours dulled to be easy on your eyes. Your commutes would be free of traffic and your productivity would soar to new heights, being free from an uncaring star that only hurts you every chance it gets. 

I can hear your protests already:

“B-b-but what about vitamin D???”. Suck it up. Take a pill for it. You already take them as supplements and antidepressants anyway; what harm will another in your daily routine do? 

“B-b-but humans are diurnal!!!”. Sybau. You stay up all night doomscrolling anyways. Why not use the night to better e instead? 

“B-b-but I won’t be able to see myself in the mirror if it’s too dark!”. So what? I did away with mirrors years ago and it did wonders for my self esteem.

So dear reader, don’t fear the dark any longer! Contrary to some centuries old-rumours you may have heard about the night’s denizens, I and those like me are very respectful of boundaries; we only enter if you invite us! Come join us under the moon, where the nightlife’s eternal and nobody is left behind in the dust!