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Point-Counterpoint: Ducks Rotate Like a Corkscrew During Sex vs. Duck Penises Bunch Up and Rotate On Their Own

It seriously just makes sense – have you ever seen a duck penis? If you have not, let me enlighten you: it’s a corkscrew. How else would they do it?


But the SCIENCE. Let’s think about the math. How fast would the duck have to be spinning to successfully thrust? I’ve actually done the math and I will share it with you: consider the torque requirement, moment of inertia, *physics buzz words*. I can rigorously conclude that the duck would need to spin close to the speed of light. A likely story.


Sir, are you trying to suggest that the duck can physically detach itself from its own pecker?? I think you are underestimating the physical ability of ducks to spin like a spinning top on crack. Are you perhaps suggesting that ducks have a gear system in place somehow to be able to properly rotate into other duck orifices? A LIKELY STORY.


WHY IS A GEAR SYSTEM BEING DISREGARDED AS A POSSIBILITY. Also why is spinning around considered a not non-in-inconvenient strategy for the ducks?


Ah, yes…convenience. Is love ever convenient? If it’s really worth fighting for I think convenience is but a silly priority…*distant gaze*


*even more distant gaze*…