Lemme start by saying that newer is always better. Which of these consoles is newer you ask? The XBox. That means better, hyper-realistic block graphics, higher quality games and a superior controller. Face it, in the console wars, XBox reigns supreme.

Okay, you could not be more wrong. I mean, first the XBox is made by Microsoft. Are you gonna trust a computer company that makes spreadsheet software to make your gaming system? No, that’s ridiculous. You need a product made by an actual gaming company that’s already built successful consoles. You need a PlayStation.

Okay, you little twerp. I get that your controller is helping you learn your shapes, so I’ll let your wrong opinion slide. Big kids who know the alphabet and can therefore use the XBox controller know that it is the far superior gaming experience. XBox wins based off game library alone with Halo, Fable and Knights of the Old Republic.

Are you kidding me? You’re bringing up games while also saying XBox is more mature? Ever heard of God of War, you numbskull? How about Metal Gear Solid? Face it, Kratos and Snake would eat your little Master Chief for breakfast and crap them out by lunch. And I haven’t even mentioned Final Fantasy, Shadow of the Colossus, or a bunch of other games that are far better than anything on XBox.

[Unintelligible yelling]

Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your argument. As long as Smash Bros Melee is on Gamecube, you dusty old plebs are arguing over second place.