September 1996
Students at U of T report a tightening of policy in regards to Tamagotchi use in lectures and are fighting back against letting professors limit their pixel pet love to out-of-class hours. “It’s devastating to get back from a long day of lectures and see your rad little dude or dudette lying on their floor, deader than your mom’s leg warmers,” cried a spokesperson for the movement. In order to stop this terrible crime, some advocates of the movement have suggested ways to care for your pet during lecture discreetly:
- Hiding it in your fanny pack: Not only is the fanny pack a super stylish trend that will never die, the material will muffle the sound of your pet partying on.
- Wear it on a cute hemp lanyard around your neck: Hemp is all the rage right now and looks great with your frosted tips hairdo. The benefit of this is that you can have all your pets together, and they can connect with every step you take. Also, you can smoke the lanyard once you grow out of Tamagotchis and need higher stimulation.
- Glue it onto a slap bracelet and trick your prof into thinking it’s a calculator watch: Care for your creature out in the open, all the while fooling the world into thinking you’re actually paying attention. Bonus tip: add a couple U of T stickers to the band and make everyone assume it’s a faculty approved calculator. Note: don’t mix them up during your exam. Your Tamagotchi does not know linear regression.
- Hollow out a pocket for your pet in the side of your Rocket Dog platform flip flops: Hands-free pixel play that will show off your shoes.
- Sew a pocket to the bottom part of your 50-inch bell bottoms: Deck out your Jenco jeans and make a pocket for your Tamagotchi to hide in and ride in during the day.
- Clip it to your wallet chain: Your little friend can be chilling hipside until it’s time to be fed. Hide it amidst your alien and Ying-Yang charms for full camouflage.
“Tamagotchis are a serious e-pet and are here to stay, so profs need to be more accommodating,” the spokesperson continued. “Nothing turns a mood ring black faster than suddenly finding your pet dead. We don’t all find fulfillment in Furbies.” Students are encouraged to continue to fight for Tama-rights.
