TRANSYLVANIA, ROMANIA. Children of the Night in Transylvania say a Russian drone has breached their airspace as Russia continues to have drones somehow enter NATO countries.

Reports came from Castle Dracula early Sunday morning that a Russian drone had been detected flying overhead, which local resident Dr. Acula said was “outrageous as it hadn’t even been invited in.”

Dr. Acula, as well as other residents in the area, expressed extreme anger at the breach of Castle Dracula’s territory. Dr. Acula stated that “we have lived here for centuries, and all who tried to invade were met with the lion’s fighting strength of a Dracula!” Dr. Acula also expressed his distaste for any escalations of war that the drone might be trying to provoke, saying that, “the warlike days are over. Blood is too precious a thing in these days of dishonourable peace.”

The drone was not shot down, as Dr. Acula, who had been listening to a concert from local wolves, had not had time to catch it before it flew off.

Russian military officials, when asked about the repeated incursions of their drones and military aircraft into NATO airspace, said “oopsies,” and “they just got lost.” They also claimed that reporters asking about the provocative nature of Russian military aircraft in foreign and NATO-aligned airspaces were clearly making things up as “the Kremlin does not want to start WWIII and has utmost “respect” for other countries ;)”

Russian President Putin, when asked, said, “don’t worry about it.”

U.S. President Trump was also asked about the repeated recent incidents of Russian drones entering the airspace of NATO countries, to which he responded, “yeah I guess we should maybe think about doing some sanctions” to the reporters interviewing him as he left Putin’s bedroom on Wednesday. He then followed up with, 

“But isn’t the progress on the new White House Ballroom going good? I got some interior design advice from Putin during our conversation in his room about the best way to have gilt balls. He’s a fantastic guy and had some great ideas about how to furnish my interiors back in the U.S. We’ve had some beautiful discussions on our thoughts about implementing dick and also unrelated taters in the great country of America.”

President Trump, upon realizing that the Toike is a satire newspaper, then asked our reporter, “Where is this [interview] going? Don’t you know comedy is illegal now?”

Our reporter was then able to make a quick escape by means of scattering Tylenol Extra Strength at President Trump, which sufficiently distracted him as he began to scream in terror.