Ever since film was invented, it has been a staple of popular culture. And some films are lucky enough to gain massive fanbases. Perhaps the most well-known example is Star Wars. The original Star Wars trilogy swept many moviegoers off their feet, and created a massive fanbase for the series. And who could blame them? Each episode in the trilogy had an inspiring and unique story that has remained an example of how to change movie history forever. But what if I told you that the original Star Wars trilogy was plagiarised? That’s right, the film series that has had the largest influence on pop culture ever is not original. 

You may be asking, how could you even say such a thing? Star Wars is the best! 

Wrong! It is a blatant rip off of a far superior film series

You see, on August 6, 1969, Jonathan Robert Aibel was born. Jonathan is a very imaginative fellow, and credits this to being a very imaginative child, who loved to make up stories. When Jonathan was 2, his parents bought him a panda plush stuffie. He loved this panda, and began telling his parents a story about this panda, and because he kept adding onto it, they started writing it down. It was about a Panda who worked at a noodle shop, and his dad was a goose. This panda was obsessed with Kung-Fu and idolized a group of 5 Kung-Fu masters. Sound familiar? It better, cause it’s the plot of the greatest movie trilogy in existence, Kung Fu Panda. 

Now, why is this important?

It’s important because the story of Kung Fu Panda was being written in 1971, almost 2 years before George Lucas began writing Star Wars.

Well, why is that important?

Because the KUNG FU PANDA 1 AND 2 AND THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY ARE THE SAME MOVIE SERIES, ARE THE SAME MOVIE SERIES! THEY ARE THE SAME MOVIE SERIES. THE SAME.

They are both about an unlikely hero stuck in a boring life, dreaming to be more. Then one day, after meeting someone from a famous or infamous group (Oogway from the Jade Palace, or C-3PO and R2D2 from the rebel alliance), they are flung into their destiny of being the chosen one. They are then trained by another older master (Master Shifu or Old-Ben Kenobi) in order to defeat that master’s former apprentice who has turned evil (Tai Lung and Darth Vader). Along their journey, Po the Panda and Luke Skywalker meet a cynical Kung-Fu/Space veteran who is initially not invested in their story, but eventually becomes a trusted friend (I’m talking Tigress and Han Solo). Oh, did I mention that our heroes are considered by others to be totally unequipped for their role (Po is an overweight Panda who knows zero Kung-Fu and Luke is a farmboy who is now in space)? 

Okay so Tai Lung and Darth Vader face off against their former masters. Both masters are either about to sacrifice themselves or do sacrifice themselves. Then, at the end of the movie, the hero defeats that villain by using something they have never used before (Po uses the Wushi finger hold and Luke uses the force). 

Now, Kung Fu Panda 2 is actually both Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi in one movie, because George Lucas needed two movies to pull off Jonathan Aibel’s genius. 

Both Kung Fu Panda 2 and Empire Strikes Back pick up with our hero now being much more trained in their respective art. The army of an empire attacks (Lord Shen’s army of Wolves, and the Empire) and our hero defeats them by being clever (Po uses pots and pans as weapons, which the Wolves don’t predict from a Kung-Fu Master, and Luke uses the snowspeeder’s tow cables). Then, our hero’s team journeys to a far-off city (Gongmen city and Bespin). There is a reveal that their father is not who they thought they were, and is still alive. Po trains with the Soothsayer, who is basically continuing on Oogway’s role. Both Oogway and the Soothsayer are basically Yoda. I mean Oogway is literally old and green and fades away and comes back as a spirit in the third movie of the trilogy. Po trains right after losing horribly to Shen, and Luke trains just before his hand is cut off by Darth Vader. Then Tigress and Han Solo are captured by a mysterious and awesome character, either Boss Wolf (the second in command of the wolf army, after Shen) or Boba Fett, respectively. Po then rescues Tigress and Luke rescues Han with a crazy plan. Boss Wolf and Boba Fett then die in a lame way (Boss Wolf offscreen from a cannon and Boba Fett from the Sarlacc Pit). Then, Lord Shen and the emperor both use the weapon they have been building (The firework cannons and the second death star), but, after Po and Luke do not convert to their evil ways, both movie emperors are defeated. Then, the hero parties with his friends, and other talks to force ghosts or long-lost Kung Fu Masters. 

See, they are the same movie. There is NO debate about that. We were taught to believe that Star Wars is unique and creative, but it’s not. The heart of pop culture is a lie.

Stay tuned for next month’s issue, where I explain why the Marvel Cinematic Universe is just a 40 hour long episode of House Hunters.