YPRES, BELGIUM – My fellow Canadians, there is a humanitarian crisis occurring right now in Belgium. A flagrant violation of human rights so despicable that it should be outlawed from henceforth in some sort of Convention named for a Swiss or Dutch town. It is not the use of poison gas that vexes me so, my friends, but the mask mandate the Army has unconstitutionally implemented to ‘protect’ soldiers against the gas.

Yes, it seems the top commanders of Canada’s troops in Europe just want us to go along with these immoral orders without question. But should we really just follow orders? Of course not! That sounds like something some evil army would do. Perhaps in some other war.

No friends, if we are to defeat our enemy, we must not become them. We must not… um… honour our military alliances with our only allies in Europe by supporting them in this war.

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Um. I’m starting to think this war doesn’t really have good guys and bad guys.

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The use of poison gas still isn’t cool, Germany.