CAMELOT COURTHOUSE – The trial of the century began Thursday as the prosecution and the defence made their opening arguments in the murder trial of the Round Table Gang. It was just one year ago that the members of the Gang were captured by law enforcement, including Lance Lotus, Marvin Bedevere, and the leader of the Gang who is only known by his alias, ‘King Arthur’.

The three now face a life sentence for the murder of Franklin Charles Home, a historian working in the area who was murdered by a knight on horseback shortly after the Gang was first seen in town. It is not yet known who exactly was responsible for Home’s death, though the prosecution believes they have incontrovertible proof that the murderer was a member of the Gang, a so-called ‘Knight of the Round Table’, making all Gang members accessories to the murder.

Other known members of the Gang, specifically Gavin ‘Galahad’ Gray and Robin Craven, are still at large, though, due to their inactivity, some have started to theorize that they were killed by their comrades. Should their bodies ever be found, it is likely that investigators’ prime suspects would be Arthur and his Knights.

In addition to Home’s murder, the Round Table Gang face a number of charges after years of living outside of the law. These charges include the assault of a mud-collector, the attempted murder of one ‘Black Knight’, the illegal importation of coconuts into the country, animal cruelty against countless swallows and a rabbit, saying ‘ni’ to a simple shrubber, and the attempted burglary of several castles.

Unfortunately for the Gang, their defence has been mostly comprised of claims that ‘God himself told them to seek the Holy Grail at any cost’ and that ‘they’ve been forgiven for their sins in the eyes of the Lord’, a claim which the prosecution seems poised to treat as a confession to the jury.

In other news, the search continues for the missing toll-keeper of the Bridge of Death, who never returned home after going to work just a month after Home’s death.