Cats is truly the greatest musical of all time, and I believe this with my whole heart. Nowhere else in the world can you watch 14 actors, who all claim they’re not furries, dress up as cats FOR MONEY. The plot: a young cat who at first doesn’t feel welcome, finds home in a hopeless […]
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently, my 7-week-old kitten was given a tablet by his aunt. While I didn’t mind it at first, it began to affect his character. He discovered an app called TikTok, and he spends all day pawing at his device, switching between all of the videos. Within a day, he was […]
In a shocking display of productivity and misplaced passion, U of T’s Industrial Engineering students spent their Reading Week not reading, but optimizing the concept of Reading Week itself. Since my father (who I definitely have a loving and present relationship with) is an Indy 9T2, I felt compelled to cover this story. Dubbed the […]
WE ARE SO BACK, I’M SO HAPPY WE’RE DOING CAT TOIKE. Welcome to another instalment of your favourite recurring series: Random Recipes inspired by the Toike Theme that might work, but like also I have not experimented in any way so with this warning if your house burns down you can’t sue us because the […]
Number 15: Burger King Cat Lettuce. The last thing you’d want in your Burger King burger is someone’s cat. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his cat in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: “This is the lettuce […]
Apparently you can’t write about bestiality for the VSC column, even when the Toike theme is an animal (EngSoc is a bitch). So I am no longer the Virgin Sex Columnist, while we undergo litigation. Instead, I decided to become an independent relationship advice columnist by using my ECE skills to hack into the Editor’s […]
CatIT’S TIME TO FEED ME! Human ServantIT’S TIME TO SLEEP I HAVE A MIDTERM jumps up on the bed Mrrrow Meowww, meowww MEEEOWWWWW MEOWWWW, *smacks at the lazy human withpaw* Mrrrup! MMEEEOOOOWWWWWW MEEEOWWWWWW Uhhhggghhghgh Noo, it’s 4am, let me sleeep Wait a couple more hours pleasee Why are you abusing me I just want to […]
Getting fucked in the ass by the labs in ECE344 (Operating Systems) is how I finally (spiritually) lost my virginity. While I initially took this course in a vain attempt to increase my employability, it’s clear that the only real benefit gained was a front-row seat in understanding the Discord kitten phenomenon present in this […]
Pit Pussycat Party! Hey there Skuligans! I know everyone has been missing the Pit, no less me. My new home in SF3202 has been lonely without all of you there. I have decided I will visit the Myhal Arena next time there is SUDS to obtain sustenance but enough about me! It is time to […]
The title says it all, I just had the absolute worst day of my life. I’m only 6 months old but I know it was a truly harrowing experience that I’ll remember for the rest of my days. At 8 pm, my humans fed my older brother, but not me. No matter how much I […]
