What’s that, you want to learn about the intricacies and perversities of sexual pleasure in the wizarding world? A glimpse into the dirty minds of witches and wizards in Hogwarts? Obviously you do because you’re reading this article, you fucking pervert. So what, you saw the headline Harry Potter Sex and just had to dive […]
Happy Amourous October, everyone! Based on your many, many, many letters to my editor (and the scalding e-mails I received), I can see that September didn’t, um, go quite so well for most of you. Your attempts at intercourse following my advice were, uh, enlightening at best, and sadly heartbreaking at worst. Not to […]
A shocking investigation by the CRA last Tuesday found that several notorious JRPG bosses have been using their alternate forms to purchase investments and conduct shady financial maneuvers. Over 80 bosses have now been arrested and are awaiting further trial. Said Chief Investigator Steve Cloud, “These crooks have been using their more powerful forms for […]
In a press release last Tuesday, the Witch-King, the Lich King, and the King of the Wild Hunt announced the formation of their new rock supergroup Witch Lich Hunt. Eredin, the King of the Wild Hunt, will provide vocals and bass, while the Lich King Arthas and the Witch-King of Angmar, Black Captain, Lord of […]
Most people think the prettiest thing is Mufasa, those muscular legs, red mane, strong leader, damn. Others like a man with a mysterious past and a scar to match like, well, Scar. But really Kovu is where it’s at. That’s right from number 2. That badass coat colour, punk hair style with mad flow, like […]
This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by Good-Paying Jobs. Good-Paying Jobs – your ultimate adult fantasy. Norm: Hi, I’m Norm McLuhan, and this is my brother, Gord – Gord: Hi there. Norm: – and today we’re gonna discuss, uh, […]
From the Toike Vault Written in the days preceding Carroll’s death in 1898, “Do You Take Marzipan in Your Spaghetti, Mr. Squirrel? For I Always Do When I Dance the Merengue!” was Lewis Carroll’s final work. Also known as “The Ballad of Ricky Bobby,” it has gone unpublished for over a century. The Toike Oike’s […]
Early yesterday morning, Engineering Science Chair Nada Wizaad stated that the program would be adding another course to the already full first year course load. The class, “MUG100: Introduction to Interaction and Assimilation” will help students achieve success both in school and after graduation. This course seeks to teach the students about how everyday people […]
This month, staff from the Toike Oike reached out to the University of Toronto’s engineering students in an effort to uncover the Skule™ community’s deepest, darkest fantasies. The results of this survey were initially intended to be sold to Google for their data repository. Below, we’ve compiled the top responses from students across campus. […]
A new body cam video released this week reveals an alarming encounter between a city official and Zxenead, Dark Ruler of the Eternal Twilight and Eldritch Cosmos. The city official visited Zxenead’s castle, which emerged from a dimensional rift in the middle of Nathan Phillips Square at 12:00 AM the night before. The castle violates […]
