This monthly column features a riveting conversation between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is about vampires! Gord: Holy shit, Norm, that portal was crazy. Norm: You’re telling me, I hope that haunted portal didn’t let anything weird into the world… Gord: Yeah, I was just saying that to my […]
In a shocking turn of events, a man has been bitten by a bat in the ROM bat cave, a favourite Royal Ontario Museum attraction for high schoolers, children, and university students. The man, UofT pre-law student Jon H., was sticking his head into one of the crevices in the cave when he felt “a […]
Dear reader, be honest with yourself: living during the daytime is the world’s longest running psy-op. The sun blazes down on you, and constantly harasses you like an unpaid landlord. But in spite of this, you all dutifully stumble out of your homes barely awake, clutching your iced coffees to force your eyes open to […]
TORONTO, CANADA – At 4:20AM last Tuesday, a resident Toike internet sleuth opened a letter containing an anonymous plea for help: Dear Sex-Starved Toike Staff, It all started as I was leaving Bahen, high on superiority (I’m an engsci) and excited to suck up to (off) a prof for a 0.1% increase on my exam. […]
