Getting injured in America is kinda like an arcade machineYou gotta input more money or you die. Why is it better to lose your health during summer and winter seasons?So you don’t have to worry about fall damage. Why did the gamer play so many video games after his breakup?To console himself. What did the […]
AriesYour arcade game is …Fruit Ninja. Someone I know that is an Aries likes food but not fruit, so here you go. TaurusPopeye GeminiAir Hockey. This is generally a two player game and you guys are twins. CancerStreet Fighter. You seem like you would like this game. Also, haha, 69. LeoSpace Invaders. VirgoMario Bros. You […]
Star Stable Online Reviewed by: Marmalade This is a game I have enjoyed for years; it has perfect controls for getting a face massage from a human’s knuckles. I wish they kept the “you need to keep pressing ↑ or ‘W’ to maintain your speed” feature in the controls because it means that there needs […]
LEVEL ONE: CHARACTER SELECTION He spawned beside me in our Verilog lab, face bathed in the blue glow of Quartus Prime like some kind of silicon saint. I’ll call him “Zandrew,” because that was literally his name and also somehow worse than Andrew. Zandrew was the kind of man who looked like he had been […]
Dear readers, I love Fortnite. My “friends” say I’m addicted, but they are wrong. They just don’t get it. I could quit any time I want. I only think about it every waking moment and dream about it whenever I get too tired from playing that I fall unconscious because I’m so dedicated to the […]
Let’s imagine there’s an arcade. This arcade has many different moving parts. Now let’s talk about the employees. See the arcade will run without the employees, but no one will enjoy the arcade if there are no employees. Now one day, the big owners of the arcade decide they want to make some renovations to […]
My Dearest Luigi, where do I begin? Oh, how I love you. You are such a beautiful man, so kind hearted and heroic. Others may see you in a different light, but I know the real you – and you are exactly my type. I must also confess – I do love Italians. And men […]
You’ve heard of date everything, where you can date emotionally unstable fuse switches or a dishwasher that straight up stalks you, but now get ready for DATE EVERYTHING: PIT EDITION. Get ready to meet some of our eligible young bachelors and bachelorettes! Meet Tick, the ripped up suds ticket that has been fused to the […]
NIAGARA FALLS, CANADA — Karen, 69 year old retiree and regular at the Fallsview Casino, told Toike reporters in an fiery outrage that all young people these days are “addicted to screens” and are not capable of “contributing positively to society.” When asked about a source for her claim, she looked at us in shock, […]
OHHHH BOOOYYYYYY FOLKS,As we approach on the 2T5-2T6 Skule Year, I wanted to start a new series: “Random Recipes inspired by the Toike Theme that might work, but like also I have not experimented with in any way so with this warning if you house burns down you can’t sue us because the warning is […]
