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Trump Attempts to Box in North Korea with Aggressive Statements

Mistakenly Boxes Himself in Instead

With tensions rising in Eastern Asia in the wake of North Korea’s nuclear missile threats, American President Donald Trump has taken it upon himself to resolve the problem in his own fashion. Mr. Trump’s strategy revolves around continuing any sort of North Korean aggression through threat of swift American intervention, releasing a tweet stating that “military solution are locked and loaded. ”

While furiously typing his follow-up jab directed towards Kim Jong-Un, Mr. Trump managed to trap himself inside a While House storage room. An anonymous source confided that he was “rummaging” through his alleged vast collection of self-authored thesauruses.

One of Mr. Trump’s top aides commented on Friday, explaining that Mr. Trump had been “shifting boxes around in order to reach his ‘Apprentice-Era’ section of vocabulary when he realized he blocked off the door and was unable to clear a path. ”

Mr. Trump also commented on the situation: “Everything I do, I do for this country. I have made *hand gesture* so many sacrifices for the safety of the people of America and I will continue to make them. I’m just so lucky to have such tremendous people, the best people, working alongside me. ”

Incidentally, Mr. Trump tweeted out this morning saying “It’s sad how Mr. Kim refuses to partake in any peaceful negotiations as part of his responsibility as a world-leader. Rocket Man, you’re fired! “