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Issue: January 2016

New Study Shows People Who Say They Don’t Judge Actually Judge the Most

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

A recent study has identified the most judgemental demographic amongst North Americans, finding that people who claim that they don’t judge are actually really judgemental. A group of random North Americans were placed in a room and shown footage of various judgeable things including guys wiping cheetos crumbs on their pantlegs, drunk people going man-down […]

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Ron Suprun, Skule’s Out-Going Godiva’s Crown, Spills All!

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

December 2015 was Ron Suprun’s last month as the incumbent Godiva’s Crown, and as the torch is passed on, we at the Toike felt it was time for some answers. The following interview gives the responses Ron provided to some of the more controversial questions that the Engineering community has been dying to ask since […]

The Toike Oike’s 2016 New Years Resolution Suggestions

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Tired of New Year’s Resolutions that you can’t stick to? The Toike Oike has got you covered with some great ideas! Quit Facebook Join Tinder Lose three pounds (deal with constipation problem) Lose 150 pounds (dump boyfriend) Find pants – you may need your phone, keys, and wallet Drink less expensive liquor Learn to love […]

Fap Fap Revolution Becomes Sleeper Hit

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

A new masturbation-based mobile game, Fap Fap Revolution, has a become a hit almost overnight on the App Store and Google Play. The game, which is a spin-off of the popular Tap Tap Revolution, has the player “peel the carrot” (or for the ladies “flick the bean”) to the rhythm of all their favourite tunes. […]

The Greatest Websites You’ve Never Heard Of

Posted on: February 7th, 2016 One of my friends was telling me how I just had to check out this website to watch some pretty cool shows. And boy was he right! I dunno where you can go to watch the things he was talking about, but this has got to be the greatest website ever! I mean, it […]

Women’s Fashion Governed by Voodoo and Planetary Alignments

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Researchers at top-secret facilities in Milan and Paris have published an exposé detailing exactly how women’s clothing sizes are determined. Fashion designers across the world use a combination of voodoo and astrology to size their garments, a fact which did not surprise any woman who actually buys clothes. “One month, you’re a 12 in one […]

MSE Sex Positions: an Up-and-Coming Trend

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Connoisseurs of adult entertainment will be pleased to discover that a new entertainment studio has recently opened its doors, and is looking to make its mark on the industry. Crystal Productions specializes in a unique market: materials science. But non-MSEs needn’t worry – the stars have made sure that their films are appealing to even […]

Engineering Student Writes Program to Automate Self

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Last week, third-year Indy student Sanveer Naidoo released the code he wrote to automate his bodily functions. A large portion of the Skule community has since been zombified. Over the course of winter break, Sanveer wrote scripts for many actions and processes according to his circadian rhythm. “It was really quite easy to figure out,” […]

Dear Miss Ogeny

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

Dating Advice that’s Totally Up to Date!

Toike’s Angels Heat Up the Runway This Season

Posted on: February 7th, 2016

It’s that time of year – baggy sweaters and sweat pants are pulled up from the depths of our closets to fight off the cold winter blahs (and cover up those extra pounds from Christmas… and Thanksgiving… and Halloween… and last Saturday). But not everyone is suffering from that holiday food-guilt. Our favourite runway models, […]

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