Now what’d we got here, folks? So you say you’re lookin’ to join the Canadian Revolution, eh? Well don’t think just ‘cause we look like a bunch of hosers that you can march right in here and—

Ah, I’m sorry. No, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a kerfuffle. Why don’t ya take a seat on that moose-pelt chesterfield over by the fire, bud. We mus’ be getting cabin fever out here. Now that I’m thinkin’ about it, you’re actually the first person we’ve seen since we picked up a couple a two-fours and some double-doubles down over by the Liqbo… Right, what was I sayin’?

Oh, right! Sorry, again. You’re here for the Canadian Revolution. Skookum! We need folks like you, ready to jus’ giv’er for the cause. That’s where we come in. I’m Greg, and this here are my buds Brent and Brian. Now, look, we didn’t come all the way from Cowtown jus’ to collect come toonies for the cause. If we’re gonna have a real Canadian Revolution, we gotta have real keeners like you on board.

What’d a few Canucks like us have to lose, eh? Worst case Ontario the Mounties gallop over from Banff and shut us down. But think about what would happen if we succeed. It’s about time we asked folks to stop mockin’ us. It’s always about “goin’ oot and aboot for a rip”. I’ll have you know I ain’t never went out for a single rip, bud.

Look-ee here, bud. We’re gonna get outta this plaid and into our Canadian tuxedos at dawn. What’s that this time o’ year? Ah, 11 AM. No shit, eh? Right, so, proudly decked out in denim-on-denim-on-denim, we’ll take this here sharpened hockey stick… Hang on, Brian, where’d ya put that stick?

…

Alrighty, sorry about that. Turns out Brent was holding it the whole time! That’s jokes, eh? C’mon, get your runners laced, we’re jus’ about ready to snowshoe right over to Justin’s cabin and demand he outlaw those godforsaken old-fashioned plain Timbits. Did Timmies jus’ accidentally drop dough in the deep-frier? You know, they’re a right insult to Canada. That’s what this whole Canadian Revolution is about, you see. We’re tired of this national mediocrity.

What’d ya say? You in, bud?