Here’s a thought: perhaps, if we were all left to traverse through jungles on our own when we were 4, we might have grown up to be more…independent? In the Dora The Explorer Cinematic Universe, Dora presents herself as a tool to help children learn Spanish, or English or other such languages. Yet, there is an insidious underside to this fun tale – one of familial neglect. 

Like seriously, how the fuck was she totally okay with letting a monkey boss her around into crossing crocodile lakes and swinging on vines whilst being a literal TODDLER? And also it wasn’t like we weren’t screaming the right answers at her – this is indicative of issues trusting other people, which can only result from having no trust in her parents.

So the real question is – where the heck did her parents think she was? It’s a miracle that there wasn’t an episode where she died, but even if there was, I doubt her parents would have been at her funeral. They probably wouldn’t even have noticed that their FOUR year old kid was dead. 

Honestly, if Dora had listened to me instead of that manipulative monkey, she’d know that all I ever wanted was for her to jump off that mountain she hiked up. Her parents don’t care about her, what even kept her alive? I’m genuinely curious, I’d love to have her will to live. 

Children with attachment issues usually manifest to the next closest comfortable thing to cling to – in our case it was Boots, but I posit that even the attention that Swiper provided (although it was negative) was something she craved and needed. So constantly allowing this cycle of abuse and toxic behaviour from Swiper to continue, she was perpetuating a cycle set into motion by her neglectful family.

And seriously, which parents who ACTUALLY loved their child would let them get that absolutely fucking stupid haircut?? And a pink shirt with yellow shorts? What in colour theory was that shit? 

Couldn’t her Abuela have adopted her if she suffered from child neglect to this degree? Maybe her brain cells wouldn’t be in the negatives if she had been raised by her grandmother instead. This is actually so heartbreaking, did nobody truly care for her at all?

#JusticeForDoraTheCluelessBitch