Documents have been obtained regarding the actions of Ryerson engineers after the 2013 seizure of their mascot, the RAM. The documents, consisting of memos, emails, doodles, and scientific papers published by researchers at the “university,” paint a detailed picture of what life was like during the search for RAM.

Ryerson’s most qualified computer engineers immediately took to the task of securing the RAM. But instead of trying to pay the ransom demands issued by da BFC, memos show that for weeks, Ryerson students tried to download more RAM. As time passed, the search for more RAM grew increasingly frantic, with many Ryerson engineers emailing each other about viruses infecting their computers.

The Ryerson Engineering Student Society (RESS) quickly sought out the esteemed Ryerson nurses for help, who suggested antibiotics to treat the viruses but were unfortunately unqualified to prescribe anything themselves.

The effort to download more RAM continued. “Why would anyone ever go out and pay for RAM,” asked one student, “when all the RAM you could ever need is available on the Internet for free?”

Ultimately, after further unsuccessful events to download more RAM, Ryerson Engineers relented and paid the ransom.