Whether you’re a grizzled grad student or a bushy-tailed frosh beaming with false confidence, busting your ass for a perfect record is something to be proud of. For many, the 4.0 GPA is worth sacrificing everything. Luckily, Toike-funded researchers have discovered a technique which will allow students to shirk all responsibility and still snatch ultimate academic victory from the jaws of whatever is on Reddit.

There is a method behind the strange phenomenon known as super-sub consciousness, and it can be achieved with the help of the following steps. This state of mind allows its user to tap into the faintest of memories which would normally have to be reinforced with countless hours of repetition. Therefore, while studying one must simply skim the information to form the initial neural networks that will be recalled once in super-sub consciousness.

Here are a few helpful hints to trigger your “mind’s eye”. The most common methods require the user to enter a “sleep” of sorts, as you may see your more advanced peers employ during lectures. Fasting can also improve performance by a stunning 5% per consecutive day before an evaluation, though you can consume a diet of Red Bull and week-old yogurt without diminishing the effect.

Be sure to take a well-deserved break from your training regimen by not sleeping before any evaluation. Acing the exam should be a breeze at this point. Just listen to your gut – it should be making plenty of interesting noises by now. With these tips in mind, your academic success is all but assured!