I’m gonna make this short because I have not done nearly enough work on my thesis and I need to take a nap that lasts a whole week. I’m tired of living through history. Okay? I know some people – mostly right-wing dipshits – like to say that everyone goes through difficult times that define their era but 2020 just feels different. At least the 20th Century had about a decade between its global pandemic and the Great Depression. We just had them at the same fucking time and that’s not even all that fucking happened this year.

Listen, this article isn’t going to be funny unless you, like me, enjoy the pain of others and/or laughing through times of crisis to hide the internal shitstorm that’s threatening to send you off the deep end without a moment’s notice.

I now speak directly to whatever sadistic omnipotent being has been controlling our measly little lives for the past year (although the four years before this one weren’t too great either). I’m sure a paper as prestigious as the Toike delivers to whatever hellscape you call home. If you exist, please, take pity on us. There was enough material in 2020 to fill multiple history textbooks. Hell, I’m sure 90% of people could write History PhD theses for individual weeks or even days from 2020. All I’m asking for is a little reprieve from the history-in-the-making – just a year where the most noteworthy thing to happen is the Olympics being held in an odd-numbered year.

…

My asking for a boring year just made 2021 a hundred times worse, didn’t it? FUCK!