The Iron Dragons boating club of the University of Toronto is under severe scrutiny after a recent report by the Ontario Board of Dragon Cruelty. On January 24th, the inspection committee published their findings from over a decade of investigation.
The committee was led by famous gore porn fantasy writer and world-renowned draconologist George R. R. Martin. According to his official report, the inspection began in 2005 when two ex-Dragons blew the whistle in a media firestorm that became known as “Dragongate”.
In the following days, several posts had appeared on the popular NSFW subreddit /r/Dragonsfuckingcars highlighting how the organization neglected their dragons. The club had promised to train you and your pet dragon to “row with pride wherever you travel,” but /u/mad_tolkien testified that she had seen no actual program in place for the dragons. According to her, the Iron Dragons separated the paddlers from their dragons for “more specialized training”, only to escort the mythical beasts to cages outside the training facility. The training was so exhausting that the members “literally forgot to check on their 30 foot pets/vehicles.”
Soon after the report emerged, all two of the sponsors for the team pulled out, citing concern about backlash from the public. This event also caught the attention of celebrity Justin Bieber, who tweeted, “my mother doesn’t like them, and she likes everyone.” He added, “sometimes it’s just too late to say sorry.”
