I think we can agree that European swallows are the far superior bird based on the simple fact that they are migratory. Think of all the things a European swallow has seen over the years.

Ah hee he he he ha. HA HA HE HE HE HE!

Hmm. I suppose the fact that an African swallow can carry a coconut should be considered. But worldly experience beats out brute strength any day in my books!

HE HE HE! Shall we say that flight speed is an adequate tiebreaker?

Well I suppose but –

Then what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow?

Well I don’t know but, AHHH!

HE HE HE HE! Now that is how you win a point-counterpoint!