Hey! I guess you’re right about the sin bit, but the Bible needs to stay in the original Greek and Hebrew Latin, and our music is great! It’s very important that we layer three different melodies on top of each other, all singing different words. If you can’t understand that, it’s just because you’re stupid. Listen harder. 

 

(Whispering frantically amongst each other) 
Do you really think people can’t hear the words when we sing three at once? Do you think God’s mad about that?




(After eighteen years and three popes are dead)
Okay, devout Catholics! Martin Luther was wrong about everything except our corruption, which we have fixed (shh!), and also about that thing with music.
Please write only one melody at a time so people can understand (but still write it in Latin so most people can’t understand).

(Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina enters the chat)
Wait, this is a mistake! Listen to my beautiful mass with six different melodies where you can understand the words!

(Catholic Church, listening to the prettiest music created to date) (1563)
Huh, this guy has a (counter)point… Okay, fine, multiples melodies isn’t a sin.

The Catholic Church is so corrupt! Like, they let people pay to get out of sin, and they won’t translate the Bible, and, WORSE, their music is hard to understand! 

How are people supposed to worship God if they can’t understand what they’re singing? Most people can’t even sing your stupid songs! That should be a sin!




 

I’m going to write my OWN hymns with only ONE melody that everyone can sing in GERMAN so we can worship God TOGETHER! 

(Martin Luther is dead and can no longer contribute to the debate.)