Howdy Skule! Welcome back to another Toike classic where we take a relatively normal thing and sexually objectify it for the Editor’s displeasure!
This month, we’re taking a spin on this issue’s theme and looking at everyone’s favorite aquatic beast – Sharks! Everyone knows the power of these things – but how good of a lover are they? Let’s find out!

10- At the bottom of the list, we’ve got the Brownbanded Bamboo Shark. Now this fella seems innocent on the outside, and has quite a few perks. They can exist outside of water for up to 12 hours, meaning you can take your time in the bedroom with this one, but they’ve got a serious drawback. These sharks can hold on to sperm for up to 45 months! Now here at the Toike Oike, we’re all about using protection, but you can never be too careful. Fuck at your own risk.

9- Next up we’ve got the Great White Shark. These fellas definitely like it rough, and will not be afraid to come on to you. While BDSM might be your kink, you’ve got to remember that sharks don’t understand human speech, so you’re gonna have to come up with a new way to communicate your safe word.

8- At number 8 we’ve got the Megamouth shark. Now these sharks are a pretty rare find, so you might be tempted to take one for a ride, but you should know what you’re getting into first. That mega mouth might seem tempting, but it’s used for a whole lot more than sex. If you’re not a fan of non-stop pillow talk about how “it’s not like the other sharks” and “it eats only plankton for the environment,” stay away!

7- Here we’ve got the Sand Tiger shark. If you’ve ever been to an aquarium, you’ve probably met this shark before. While they’re by no means a bad fuck, these guys are a dime a dozen. A Solidly average shark, but nothing special.

6- A fitting rank! For number 6, we’ve got the Sixgill Shark. Compared to most sharks with 5 gills, these
sharks have an extra gill that I’m sure you could put to good use ;)

5- While many of the sharks on this list might be a good fuck, the Cookiecutter Shark is a big fan
of foreplay. I mean just look at those marks he left on that whale! You might wanna invest in a turtle- neck after an encounter with this fella.

4- The Porbeagle Shark has a lot going for it in the bedroom. First of all, it’s used to cold waters, so you won’t need to worry about her stealing the blankets at night. As one of the fastest swimmers in the sea, she’ll have no issues keeping up with you in bed, and most importantly, they swallow their prey whole! Did someone say deepthroating? Not to mention, pregnant Porbeagles appear between September and December, so if you’re looking for a hot MILF Shark for cuffing season – look for a Porbeagle.

3- This big guy might look scary, but she’s really a gentle giant. If you’re into cuddling, The Whale Shark is perfect for you. While some of these other sharks might be nice for one night in paradise, this fella is wifey material. Throw a (large) ring on this babe while you can.

2- Runner up on this list is the Basking Shark. Unlike the Megamouth, this mouth is absolutely designed for your pleasure. It’s a lot tighter than the Megamouth, and look at the ribbing in there.

1- And at Number 1 we’ve got a classic for you engineers. Of course it’s the Nurse Shark! Engineers have a whole cheer about how much they love nurses, so it makes perfect sense that they would love the Nurse Shark too.