undoubtedly been exposed to. But the rest of you fuckers knew what you were getting yourselves into when you picked up a shark-themed Toike, so you have no one to blame but yourself for the fact that you’re now thinking of Percy Jackson getting nasty with Nemo’s neighbours.

Now that we’ve settled that, can we have an adult conversation about Percy Jackson’s undersea sex life? Emphasis on adult. Personally, I think he ‘eats’ the blue fish, y’know, your Blue Sharks, your Blue Tangs, all of those.

But do you think he does anything…else? Like, most sharks have five gills of varying sizes, so he could find one that fits his…sea serpent. And he’s definitely at least thought about finding out how blowfish and suckerfish got their names.

But enough of my thoughts. We want to hear from you! So, email your opinions to us at toi – what are you doing? HEY! GET OFF ME! YOU CAN SILENCE ME BUT YOU’LL NEVER SILENCE THE MILLIONS OF ICHTHYOPHILES WHO READ THE TOIKE!

What’s that? I’m not being dragged away because of the fish fantasies? It’s because Nat ships Percabeth and finds the suggestion that Percy would even think about anyone or anything else offensive?

Okay, then yeah, that’s completely fair. Continue with the dragging off, boys.