Richmond, British Columbia 

The Toike Oike Editor-In-Chief, Parker Johnston, has been afflicted with a mysterious bout of coughing. 

For weeks now, the West Coast has been afflicted not just by rising cases of COVID-19, but also heavy smoke blown over from the Southwestern coastline, and a literal ton of moths taking over the Vancouver area. 

Air quality on the West coast has degraded to the point that going outside is the equivalent of smoking eight cigarettes. It was already bad – given that the west coast is filled with marijuana smoke from the many marijuana smokers that call it home. 

On top of the bad air quality, it seems like an outbreak of moths has happened in the Vancouver area. While not unusual, it was definitely a larger outbreak than usual. 

When reached by Toike reporters for comment, Parker only could offer a few coughs and nothing more. 

So what has Parker been afflicted with? We shall never know.