Since November 28, 2025, one subject has been at the forefront of the world’s collective consciousness: yaoi. With this global obsession has come many questions, such as “what is Connor Storrie’s ass workout?” “Is this an appropriate Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza conversation?” and “can the stranger on the subway see my phone screen, and, if so, are they enjoying watching these men have sex as much as I am?”
Among all of these questions, one has stood out: why do women love yaoi so much? Many people have tried to answer this question, with theories ranging from women being creepy to women just wanting to read a story that doesn’t involve men being creepy about them. While those propositions sound reasonable, they fall short of the fundamental truth of the situation. This author has performed extensive research and many interviews—okay, one interview—okay, maybe she just asked herself, but that’s still primary evidence, and if it’s good enough for Praxis I, it’s good enough for you! There are many, many reasons to love yaoi, but I have distilled it to the five main reasons:
- Masterclass on Loving Men
There are many bad things about men, starting but not ending with their insistence that Axe Body Spray is a replacement for a shower and deodorant. With this in mind, it would be puzzling that women love reading books about not one man, but two, were it not for the truth: women read yaoi to learn to love men. Because men in yaoi love men. And who better to learn how to act from than a gay man?
- Tall, Dark, Handsome, and OVERDONE
You may have noticed that men in straight romances and/or romantasy have been gradually taking on a single archetype: tall, black hair, ambiguous-racial-background-but
-we’ll-still-draw-him-white, and brooding. You can take or leave the shadow powers based on genre. While these men are adored for a reason, it can get tiring, especially if you’re into blondes, who are often demonised (*cough* Tampon *cough*) or simply killed (“It’s been my honour”). When you read yaoi, therefore doubling the amount of men, you double your chances to get not Xaden Riorson’s long-lost-twin. In fact, almost every yaoi media piece has at least one man who is not this archetype! It would be pretty weird to read about Xaden and Rhysand kissing (though if that is the stuff you are reading/writing, have fun!)
- Projection: Dreaming of being over 5’6”
There’s plenty of debate over whether women generally read yaoi because they like to project themselves on men, or whether projecting yourself on these men is abnormal and a sign you should be questioning your gender. Regardless of possible gender envy, all women clearly read yaoi to imagine they are a little taller. Yes, even women who are six feet tall. There is always a man who is taller than you, which is simply unacceptable. Unfortunately, kneecapping is illegal, and straight romance authors have decided pocket-sized women are all they can write about, so women must relegate their fantasies to yaoi, where they can read about height differences less than a foot.
- The Height of Fantasy: Men Can Keep Thoughts to Themselves?
Obviously, homophobia sucks. Staying closeted because you are afraid for your safety, or your loved ones leaving you, is a horrible reality, even in fiction. But what is the opposite of horrible is the idea that men can feel a feeling without making it the women in their lives’ problem. But in yaoi, men feel feelings and think thoughts (which, on its own, is a miracle) without sharing them with the women in their lives! What more escapist fantasy can you think of?
- Men haven’t admitted they love it too
Just like the Beatles were propelled to fame by obsessed teenage fangirls before men decided maybe they were cool too and they promptly took over the music world, yaoi has slowly but surely been creeping into the collective consciousness. The mania surrounding Heated Rivalry didn’t come out of nowhere: it is the product of over half a century of girls and women of all ages writing about men loving men from their bedrooms and work computers and beat-up middle school notebooks. It is only a matter of time before straight men experience some “yaoi epiphany” and the world forgets there was ever a time when it was teen girls and fanfiction.net against the world.
The reasons women love yaoi are not confined to this list, nor does this author claim that all women experience these reasons. However, extensive research and deep thought (39 minutes, as per my clock), have yielded these five deepest reasons, whether they be the entire truth or not. Like Keats said “Beauty is truth, truth beauty–that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know / Also that beautiful truth is Hollanov, just wait 200 years.”
