Are you feeling that your virility is lacking? Do you struggle to ‘get in the mood’? Well, you’re in luck because I have come up with the PERFECT Aphrodisiac recipe for you to help you reclaim your love life!!! The best part: All NATURAL ingredients! (Note: these have not been tested and may be severely toxic and cause death, but not to worry!).

Ingredients:

• Spanish flies: The miracle of this ingredient comes from a little compound called Cantharidin, which brings you a little extra firmness down there if you know what I mean (wink, wink). This insect has been used since ancient times for this exact purpose!
• Mandrake fruits: Another ancient one! This one lowers inhibitions and causes excitement. I’ve also heard it has magical properties?!?!?!? Great, especially if you want children.
• Mad Honey: Honey that gets you high??? I’m in!!! And it also sweetens the final product!
• Datura flowers: These are flowers in the nightshade family (very tasty berries, trust me). Soaking the seeds in milk can really boost your stamina by bringing up your levels of reproductive hormones!!!
• Horny Goat Weed: The name says everything. Definitely helps with some hardness.

Use any quantity you’d like for each ingredient. After all, more of a substance couldn’t possibly be a bad thing and would only enhance its effects!!!!! And don’t worry, combining substances changes nothing.

Steps:

I felt that the best thing to do with these treasures of nature would be to grind them up into a powder and put them into some water. Or snort them. Feel free to prepare any way you’d like. If you are looking for something for texture, I recommend using some of your partner’s sweat and hair, it’ll make you fall head over heels!!!! Remember: the way a substance enters your body does NOT impact the effect on your body. 

Enjoy!!!!