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7 ways to tell you’re in space

Life can be confusing, and today you’re having a particularly bad day: you’re afraid you might be in outer space without even realizing it. Luckily, The Toike Oike now has seven sure re ways to confirm that you are no longer on Earth.

1) You can’t breathe
That’s odd. You’ve tried taking a deep breath and it seems like there’s no air. This is a sign that you’re in space, but you should try breathing again just in case you screwed it up the rst time.

2) It’s really quiet
It’s so quiet that you can’t even hear your own thoughts. At least no one will hear you crying. At this point, you’ll notice that…

3) You can’t cry because your tears are broken
Your tears aren’t rolling down your face properly. Try resetting your eyes by turning them on and on again, and if you’re still unable to cry properly, there’s a chance that you’re in space. Otherwise, if you aren’t in space, you may have just made the transition from “an emotionally unstable wreck” to “numb*.”

4) It looks like you are in space
Do your surroundings look like how you imagine space would look? If you’ve never thought about it, space looks like how the void in my heart feels.

5) You look around and Earth is somewhere that’s not “here”
Look down. Or left, right, or up, depending on your frame of reference. Do you see Earth (or another planet-like planet)? If you answered “yes,” you might be in space.

6) Gravity is no longer anchoring you to the Earth’s surface
In other words, you are oating, but not in a “I have consumed too many substances and now feel weightless” way.

7) You are a little bit cold
If you’re feeling chilly and wish you were wearing a sweater, scarf, Snuggie, or $600 leather engineering jacket, there is a very high chance that you’re in space.

Congratulations! You should now be able to determine whether you are currently in space. If so, you should seek help immediately.