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From the Toike Vault: “If I wanta read durin’ the nighttime, I will, arright Guv?”

With Toike staff quarantining across the globe, the Toike has been able to uncover articles such as this one from regional affiliates from around the world, including Great Britain. Written sometime in late 1940 by an anonymous resident of Westminster in London, “If I wanta read durin’ the nighttime, I will, arright Guv?” was an Op-Ed slamming public safety officials for requiring residents in and around London to turn off their lights during the London Blitz. Though the consensus among public health experts was that being bombed was not healthy and that turning out one’s light during the nighttime would greatly reduce the risk of catching being bombed and spreading it to family members and neighbors, some in the public viewed the lights out mandate as governmental overreach. The writer of this article was one of those such people. 

Oi, you havin’ a fuckin’ laugh, Guv? You fink you can tell us wuta do in our own bloody ‘omes. Eiva you’re havin’ a laugh or you’re fuckin’ mental. Eiva way, ve people you’re menta serve are gonna put you in your fuckin’ place. 

Vere’s no use tryna talk wif you wankas so I’ma have a word wivose some people right now. You gonna let vose bloody morons tell you wuta do in your own god-damned ‘ouse? Wut’s next? Are we gonna let vose knobheads tell us if we can ‘ave kids? Or if we can buy some bloody groceries wivout slacks on? 

I don’t even know anyone who’s akshly been hit by a bomb but I eard it’s not even vat bad. Vey’re probly makin’ all vis bomb nonsense up so vey can tell us wuta do. Well, are you buyin’ this shit? 

Nah, bruv, you betta not be. We’re supposed to be fightin’ the Nazis. Not becomin’ em. Best fink ‘bout vis country is vat we’re FREE! Vat means we’re free to stay up late, wifa lights on while we read. Cuz we can in fact read and vere’s nufin’ you can say to prove overwise.  

We needa do wut we like, when we like to tell the ‘ole world vat we’re still a free country!