This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by the New Democratic Party of Canada. The NDP – like socialism but, like, not? Norm: Hi, I’m Norm McLuhan, and this is my brother, Gord – Gord: Hi there. Norm: – […]
This one-time column features a delightful discussion between half-brothers Claude and Jean-Luc Cournoyer from Laval. This column is sponsored by the Bloc Quebecois. The Bloc Quebecois – like fascism but, like, not? Claude: Allo and bienvenue. My name is Claude Jean-Luc: – and I am Jean-Luc. Claude: Today we are going to discuss […]
SKYEDGE, NEW GARAGEDOR – Oh, the humanity! As the war winds down, it has become one of attrition! Dark Lord Chorizord’s dragons have razed the town of Folkwreath! Few survivors have managed to escape the World-Eater’s wrath! Witnesses even report seeing Chorizord use his magical staff, the Wabbafett, to take the form of a […]
NEW BIRD CITY – According to astonished onlookers, over one million fireflies were seen illuminating the city skyline last night, revealing incredible details as to the rotation of the Earth. “Oh yeah, man, they were just out in the open air,” mused young engineer Jorge Henderson, “they left condensation everywhere. Call me rude – […]
Hey everyone. I’m Korg, sort of the go-to revolution expert here at the Toike. I tried to start a revolution a little while back, but I didn’t print enough copies of my own satirical newspaper to overthrow the Toike as the best humour newspaper at U of T. It probably didn’t help that the only […]
Now what’d we got here, folks? So you say you’re lookin’ to join the Canadian Revolution, eh? Well don’t think just ‘cause we look like a bunch of hosers that you can march right in here and— Ah, I’m sorry. No, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a kerfuffle. Why don’t ya […]
Toronto-area woman Sophie Wright discovered late last month that her boyfriend, Vlad Bolshevik, has been a devout communist for the entirety of their four-month relationship. Their relationship ended abruptly shortly after the Christmas holidays, when Vlad proposed they enter the “next stage of communism – I mean, comradeship – no wait, I mean our companionship”. […]
Every year, something goes awry and senior staff at the Toike Oike venture precariously close to mutineering and releasing an unofficial Toike of their own. This year, they have finally done so. The senior staff of the Toike have revolted against the editor and this piece of glorious paper that you behold is the fruit […]
