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Issue: March 2019

Norm and Gord Discuss Elderberries

Posted on: April 21st, 2019

This monthly column features a titillating discussion between brothers Norman and Gordon McLuhan from Moose Jaw. This month’s column is sponsored by the BBC. BBC – England’s favourite porn category.   Norm: Hi, I’m Norm McLuhan, and this is my brother, Gord – Gord: Hi there! Norm: – and today we’re gonna discuss, uh, elderberries. […]

How to Pass as an Immortal Being

Posted on: April 21st, 2019

Are you tired of restless nights spent pondering mortality, instead of that programming assignment in dire need of divine intervention? Do you want to seem cool and sexy in that ageless sort of way that compels English majors worldwide to craft Tumblr essays theorizing about your possible role as a Shakespearean muse? Are your student […]

Point-Counterpoint: Ducks Rotate Like a Corkscrew During Sex vs. Duck Penises Bunch Up and Rotate On Their Own

Posted on: April 17th, 2019

It seriously just makes sense – have you ever seen a duck penis? If you have not, let me enlighten you: it’s a corkscrew. How else would they do it?   But the SCIENCE. Let’s think about the math. How fast would the duck have to be spinning to successfully thrust? I’ve actually done the […]

Point-Counterpoint: European Swallows vs. African Swallows

Posted on: April 17th, 2019

I think we can agree that European swallows are the far superior bird based on the simple fact that they are migratory. Think of all the things a European swallow has seen over the years.   Ah hee he he he ha. HA HA HE HE HE HE!   Hmm. I suppose the fact that […]

Point-Counterpoint: Yes vs. No

Posted on: April 17th, 2019

Yes! All right. Alright, alright, alright. Very well, of course. By all means, sure. Certainly. Absolutely. Indeed. In the affirmative. Agreed. Roger that! 10-4 good, buddy. Aye aye, cap’n! Yeah, yah, yep, yup, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!! Uh-huh… okay. Okey-dokey artichokey, okey-doke. Achcha. Right-o, righty-ho. Surely, right?  Yea. Mhmm, fo sho. Hell YEAH motha-fucka!   No, no way. […]

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