“Your Honour, today I would like to present before you a lawsuit against theonion.com. It has recently come to the attention of the Toike editorial staff that theonion.com has been plagiarizing the TOIKE OIKE for the last several years. Not only is this a gross miscarriage of intellectual respect, it is also…uh, illegal? Anyways, this […]
During his time at the University of Toronto in the mid 1930’s, renowned cartoonist Bill Keane, best known for creating the comic strip ‘The Family Circus,’ developed his craft by drafting the Toike’s first ever Comics. Keane, a noted cooking enthusiast and opponent of vegetarianism, would often draw from his experiences in the kitchen to […]
In preparation for this month’s Toike, I found it difficult to think of a film to review that was even tangentially related to onions. For hours, I scoured the internet for films with more than a passing mention of onions. And then, it hit me. It was so simple. A beloved movie from my childhood […]
You know what annoys me? Not that you even asked – no one ever does – but man, onions are like, totally a fruit, dude. Just think about it, if tomatoes can be a fruit then why can’t onions? Tomatoes are probably more on the ‘berry’ end of the fruit spectrum, like corn. Sometimes I […]
Ok, listen. Onions are seriously ignored as a vegetable. This Toike’s purpose is to bring awareness to how much onions do for us, and why we should appreciate them more. HOLD ON. You really think that an extremely qualified and serious newspaper’s staff would have decided to write an entire issue about onions? Surely, […]
They say a sequel never can outdo the original, but Onion II: Far Far Away completely defies this standard. Seriously? Have you even seen the two movies? The original Onion far outclasses its successor. The story of the second contains significantly more depth than the first. We follow the story of a man […]
It’s official, India might be facing its biggest crisis since the colonization. The country has claimed to have run out of onions. Yesterday in an official government statement, the Prime Minister, Parendra Podi, delivered the terrible news with onionless tears in his eyes. The rumours started last week when people began to notice the absence […]
GEORGE CAMPUS, U OF T – A University of Toronto onion-student returned from a semester abroad in Europe to rejoin their fellow students earlier this year. However, in a shocking development, the white onion has restrained from bringing up the four-month-long international experience. Yes, the international relations and political science major, who we will refer […]