OH MY GOD! THE HUMAN’S HOME ALL THE TIME NOW! WE GET ALL THE HEAD SCRATCHES AND BELLY RUBS WE WANT AND AND AND SOOOOO MANY MORE TREATS AND–
WILL YOU SHUT UP! I have such a headache already. The human needs to get the fuck out of my face. I’m fine letting that lazy piece of shit stay in my house during dark time. They spend most of that time lying down with their eyes closed anyways. But-
OH, I HATE THE DARK TIME! IT’S BAD ENOUGH THE BRIGHT WARM BALL GOES AWAY BUT THE HUMAN ALSO GETS MAD WHEN I MAKE SURE IT’S NOT DEAD!
I’ve been trying to END the human during the dark times these days. MY GOD, I usually get a few days of peace but this citywide scary cough business is ruining EVERYTHING!
Are you kidding me? Whatever this thing is has been great! I should’ve released the virus years ago!
Wait, what did you say?
…nothing. *RUFF* I’m a dog. *RUFF* *RUFF*
If I find out you caused the scary cough thing, I’m killing you right after I kill my human.