The most ambitious election event in Ontario history is over, and despite the assembled powers of a quirky team of unlikely allies, Doug Ford has succeeded in capturing 176 Infinity Ridings, giving him unlimited power over life, reality, and existence in Ontario. Although long projected to form government, the magnitude of the majority captured […]
Are you a complete idiot who has dreams of becoming a perfectly still clothing model? Do you have a desire to be made almost entirely of plastic? We can only help you with the first, as humanity has not yet found a way to replace our weak, pathetic flesh-organs with undying plastic ones! Read on, […]
So, you’ve decided to attend your first U of T Engineering Frosh Week, and we all know what that comes with. Why, I remember my own Frosh week like it was yesterday: the hardhats, the shouting competitions, the unending summer heat, observing and appreciating all sorts of brass sculptures, more shouting over each other, and, […]
Hey champ, your mom said you’d be up here. How’re you holding up? Eyes a little red… You been cryin’ up here, boy? Ah, it’s alright. I’d be crying too if I played as badly as you today… Sorry, sorry… I know that the past couple of games have been a little rough, but that’s […]
