For years the desolate discipline has sat barren and secluded, populated only by robots and, possibly even less human, mechanical engineers. A ground-breaking new discovery by the National Androphobic Scientists Administration (NASA) has uncovered traces of women in mech – evidence that the discipline may once have had full classes, or even binders, of women. […]
Warning: The following article contains spoilers for previously released elements on the periodic table. Do not read any further if you do not want them spoiled! It’s the moment that millions have been waiting for. Ever since Dmitri Mendeleev published the first Periodic Table back in the late 60’s (1869 to be exact), generations of […]
The University of Toronto announced today that the Engineering Career Centre will be closed, after it was revealed that the PEY program had been operating as a Ponzi scheme for the last decade. Instead of student services, fees paid by PEY participants were used on luxury items for the ECC offices, including electric staplers and […]
Researchers at the University of Saskatchewan were shocked on Thursday when a three-year study on the effects of a high-sugar diet on children with a genetic predisposition for diabetes found a set of car keys reported to have gone missing some time the previous afternoon. Interviews revealed that the majority of researchers expected to find […]
After an almost four-year (plus PEY) study at the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Applied Science and Engineering, it has been found that civil engineers are not, in fact, civil. Hugh J. Wang, a Civ 1T5 and lead author of the study, applied to U of T seeking an education that would allow him to […]
Customers are crowding into Starbucks shops all around the city after the company announced its latest creation. “We pride ourselves on catering to all demographics, but we have come to realize we still lack in showing appreciation towards our most dedicated customer–those who call themselves ‘basic.’ We thought for a while about what we can […]
Galactic unrest has plagued the Milky Way as a protest from the Black Holes Matter group ran through the night, shutting down all transportation through the Kuiper Belt. “Enough is enough. This brutality must end.” That was the common theme amongst protesters last night. BHM leaders cited cluster-wide systemic discrimination as an urgent problem that […]
A new report published by the United Nations has brought to light a staggering finding about the effectiveness of well-wishers towards people in disaster-stricken regions. Contrary to widespread belief, neither thinking about nor praying for said people actually makes any difference whatsoever. One avid social media blogger had strong opinions on the report. “This is […]
Earlier this month, the Dean of the Faculty of Medicine held a press conference on front campus and announced that no corpses have walked out of the Medical Sciences Building as of this morning. The Dean made this announcement suddenly and for no discernable reason. The announcement has caused some concern among students and staff […]
A new bacterium was discovered last week in the EngSci common room. The bacterium, named porcinum ingeniorum, was discovered during a recent study on why the Engineering Science Complex, known colloquially as “the Sty,” maintains its reputation as one of the worst-smelling facilities on campus. Samples taken from the common room by respirator-clad graduate students […]
