ATLANTIC OCEAN – Forty-seven are in critical condition following the crash of Air Canada flight 1035 from Toronto to London into the Atlantic Ocean. The flight began on a happy note, with a surprise appearance from beloved T.V. host and celebrity icon Oprah Winfrey treating passengers to a special Oprah-fied safety presentation in which they were […]
Officers still recovering from vicious tauntings
University of Toronto freshman Mike Morgan’s vision of Tuesday night’s sushi outing was turned sharply on its head last week as, to his horror, each and every person accompanying him unexpectedly had a stable grasp on how to hold and use chopsticks. Just one week after moving to Toronto from Smallwood, Ontario to attend the […]
Last year the Engineering frosh received a stern reminder of the dangers of frosh week when Kevin Mahmoud was found sobbing in his empty bathtub by his roommate. His skin still tinged with dye, and he could only be heard uttering, “no, purple, no,” until paramedics arrived for him. “I was the most popular guy […]
UNDER THE BED – I cannot stress enough how bad an idea it is to live with a randomly selected roommate. If you played Russian roulette with a double-barreled shotgun and then went to sleep in a locked room with a total stranger, the shotgun would still be the safest thing you faced that day. Unfortunately, […]
Taking a look at the new ways people are using the Internet for sex
Rainforest: Medical Science Building A rare exhibit found north of College Street, experts are still unsure if the forest was planted there or if the building was built around it. A quick look reveals two benches within this forest, likely built from the wood of surrounding trees. The vegetation can be described as tall, misplaced, […]
The Engineer (Machinator fabrica) Likes: Free-body diagrams, Linux, cheap beer Dislikes: Hygiene The Engineer is one of the rarer creatures at U of T. Their workload combined with the University’s outdated equipment confine them to labs for days on end, and even when free they seem to prefer darkness to the light of day. The […]
Julie Freedham, 20, needs to have more respect for herself, according to sources. Classmates saw her at a bar Friday night wearing a tight dress and drinking a martini while laughing at jokes told by the man sitting next to her at the bar, and it was pathetic. “It was just so sad,” said Katie […]
